Menopause, Seriously?? OR Seriously Menopause??

 

Okay, you know exactly what I am talking about gals right??   Does anyone really know when they start and finish menopause??  

Not going to lie, (and my family can attest) I have had mood swings since before I could talk full sentences.  And I can still throw a temper tantrum better than most.   This is a whole new ballgame.  

The difference now is I can pretty much cry just walking out of a room and don’t ask me why I did something.  I will snap you in half and then sit on the floor and bawl like a baby.

And 😓 sweating?  Come on.  I have friends from way back that still make fun of me for how much I sweat - even before menopause.    I love when I wake up in the middle of the night and have to shower and change pajamas because they are soaked.  (Remember the good old days when we used to sweat in bed for other reasons??  🙌 hmmmmmm )   On my last girls weekend, I learned that you can buy deodorant for your hoohaw so you are ‘fresh’ when you exercise or go out in the heat.    Just wait until I pull that out of my golf bag this summer when it’s HOT out!!  What will they think of next?  

FACIAL HAIR!!!!  I used to have a few here and there and they were always really light so no one could see them.  Now I can grow a full beard in 2 days and a unibrow in a week.  I have one “beauty mark” on my face that can sprout a 6 inch hair overnight.  And of course I can’t see them without my reading glasses so some tend to keep growing.  It’s always fun when you are outside and your husband says:  “Did you know your mustache really glistens in the sunlight?”   Yep.  He’s a keeper and ALL MINE!!!!!

Gaining weight is always fun.  I have been a yo-yo with my weight my whole life and I actually feel like I am in the best shape I’ve been in for a long time.  (Not the round shape, but the active shape.). I have this thing I call my “MENOPAUSE MUSHROOM”.  You ladies know what I’m talking about right??  It hangs around your middle and sometimes it’ll even rest on your lap when you don’t have spandex on.   My mushroom must really like me because no matter what I do, it will not go away.

And last but not least the infamous URINARY INCONTINENCE.  Need I say more?  The definition is the urge to pee that comes on suddenly and then release before you can deal with it.   Well isn’t that fun!!!!!

And of course as mentioned above, lowered libido.  I am attributing that to the fact that I am constantly moody, I am sweaty, I forgot to shave my face and my mushroom doesn’t want to be disturbed.