As I am writing this it is almost the end of August and we are taking our home on wheels camping. This is our 3rd time out (can’t count the countless hours I sat in the driveway in it because I needed a vacation.)
Our first outing was to a country music fest in Karlstad MN. Appropriately called Kickin Up Kountry. We went with siblings and outlaws and had a blast. Naturally we pull up and the camper RIGHT NEXT DOOR is a classmate of mine from high school and his wife. What are the odds. AND It was hot out so we all know I was a sweaty mess for 3 days. You know it’s bad when I wear a cowboy hat AND a t-shirt at the same time. With an umbrella and a fan. So not my fashion statement but I plan on wearing it again next year!!! Saw my first Baja races and more men in bib shorts and cowboy boots than I care to count. Working on Scott’s wardrobe for next year.😄😀
Our second outing was a staycation. We camped in our hometown park. It was so fun. We couldn’t go home no matter what so what we had we had. It was a hoot to sit by our camper in our rocking chairs with a beer and wave to all our friends driving by on their way to the golf course. I wish I would have taken pictures of the puzzled looks on peoples faces. We were asked several times if we did it on purpose. LOL Of course we did. I saw things in our park I didn’t know were there. ‘’ And what a busy place in the summer.
On a not so great note, my mom had a stroke in June. Today has been a very positive day both mentally and physically and we are hoping to break her out of the hospital soon to go to a living community and continue to heal.
But as most of you know by now, if someone is going to struggle through and make an ass of themselves, it will be me.
Her first day after getting out of ICU, I was hanging out in her room and giving everyone else a break. She needed to sleep really bad so I decided to hang out in the chair in her room and read my book. This worked great for awhile until I had to pee.
So I stand up and HOLY HELL!!!!! An alarm goes off like nothing I’ve ever heard in my life. I immediately plop back down and look around. I was hooked up to the wall. Actually, the chair was but since I was in it, I was too. I look around and the nurse call button is on the other side of the bed and my mom is sleeping sound. Hmmmmm. Maybe I should unplug the cord that looks like a telephone cord going into the wall thingy…. Genius of me right??? NOOOOOOO. I stand up and BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Alarm again. Plot back down on my ass and go back to square 1. I send the picture below to my daughters girlfriend (who works in a hospital) and she tells me there should be a button on top to turn it off. Well, I can’t reach the top so there is that.
By this time I am going to wet my pants (and it’s ok because the chair has a pad on it for that exact purpose ) I was actually looking up the number to the hospital so I could call the nurses station when the nurse came in. She laughed at me, walked up to the machine, pulled it off the wall, flipped a switch on the back and told me I was good to go. LITERALLY!!!!
From that moment on, I made sure I had the call button before I sat down. I won’t go into details of the air bed debacle…. sitting at the foot of her bed and the alarm that goes off then. It’s to embarrassing.
But of course it doesn’t end there. The VERY next day, I am hanging at the hospital for the day and after supper getting ready to go. (I want to preface by saying I had been there everyday for 5 days and always parked in the same area.). My dad and I are yapping with mom and watching out the window and can see the parking lot and my white car parked right where I park it every day. We gab with mom and the nurse and are making a plan for visiting the next day. I go back to the chair (without the alarm) to grab my stuff and leave and OMG!!!! My car’s gone. All the cars around me are gone also. WTH?? My car has been stolen. I instantly start shaking and my dad can’t believe it. He rode with me and now no vehicle. I immediately call the police department to report it as my dad calls Scott to let him know what’s going on.
The dispatcher tells me to go meet the officers at the main door and they’d be there soon. I go out into hallway telling all the staff that someone stole my car as I’m almost in tears and they are in disbelief. One of the staff tells me to go talk to security and they will have camera’s. So I go downstairs and can’t find security as I’m panicking and sad and shocked. I go to the main door and look to my left to see if the squad car is coming and WHAT??? What’s behind that small tree on the other side of the parking lot.??? I take a picture of the license plate, blow it up on my phone and by gawd IT’S MINE!!!! Oh ya. My normal spot was full this morning.
SOOOOO. I call the dispatcher back, cancel the call and tell her my husband moved my car earlier in the day without telling me. Completely threw him under the bus. I wasn’t going to make myself look anymore idiotic. Again, never a dull moment.
Then there was the time I went on a vacation to Sea Island GA. Yep. You read that correctly. This short chubby menopausal woman went to Georgia in July.
It was a beautiful place and folks are sure friendly there. Like friendlier than any other place I’ve ever been. We stayed at a hotel/resort that was way out of my league. I felt like the kid on scholarship in the Dirty Dancing movie. They even had “black tie” bingo night. 😜. Again, you read that right. This was not your normal VFW bingo. Very fun but didn’t win a thing. Oh well.
I also learned that folks “of privilege” DO NOT SWEAT!!! I am not sure what gland they have removed at birth but not one of them broke a bead of sweat. AND they wore linen everywhere. LINEN!!! I was walking around with sweat coming out of every possible gland in my body and wearing wrinkled cotton. If I even try to wear linen in the dead of winter, I look like I am in a crumpled up paper bag from under the seat of my car.
We are now on our way back from our camping trip and it was successful. We got along and had fun. Can’t wait for our next outing.
And a heads up. I have travels in September to St Louis, Minneapolis and Florida. Adventures await! And in true Jodi fashion, I am sure I won’t walk away without doing someone stupid!!!!
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